1. July 7th
“I just want to check the amniotic fluid and then I’ll send you over to the Triage to repeat the NST”, said Dr. Gardener as she entered the room. “He was a bit too non-reactive this morning”
She lowered me on the table next to the ultrasound equipment and pulled a bottle of jelly from a warmer.
“I am not worried, but just to make sure, I’d like Dr. Schuermann to take a look”, she splashed the bluish jelly on my 38 weeks pregnant belly and gently pressed on it with the ultrasound probe.
“I really like her.” I thought as I looked at her face. Every time I saw Dr. Gardener during my pregnancy she looked very put together – her make up and hair always done, in a very forty-and-fabulous style. I felt comfortable with her doing my third C-section (and that says a lot considering my level of anxiety this time around). She reminded me of Dr. Kim Reyes who handled both of my pregnancies in Los Angeles.
The Good Samatarian OB GYN Group in Clifton was recommended to me by a friend, who used to work as a OB GYN nurse at the hospital where I was going to deliver. It had five doctors – two female and three male. During my pregnancy I saw them all and, honestly I couldn’t say whom I liked the most. They all knew all about my “case” from the very beginning, and although I traveled for three months during the nine month period, every time I saw a different doctor, I felt an urge to “update” them. Every time, each of them knew it already – even bits and pieces of our personal lives.
So when the time came to schedule my C-section, I was given two options – pick a date or pick a doctor. I picked a date: July 15th. It was a Friday, and since Dante’s, Evan’s, Matthew’s and mine birthdays all fall on the same day of the week (Friday this year), I went for a date. Dr. Gardener was on call that day. I felt comfortable with that choice (even after a visit with one of the male doctors when a thought came to my mind – hormones!)
Now that I was only a week away from holding the little one in my arms, my fear of “fetal distress” were rising (my first two boys were born by Cesarean because of the fetal distress.) I became very sensitive to his every little kick and every lack of kicks. The Non-Stress-Test Dr. Gardener referred as a “bit too non-reactive” made me nervous.
“This is what I like to see – over 5 cm of fluid here, and…there is another pocket of… about… look at that: another 5 cm! This baby looks great and you have plenty of fluid!” Dr. Gardner said. “So, just go over to Triage and let them repeat the NST”
“You mean I am going over to the hospital?” I asked. It sounded too familiar. “Go over to St. Joe’s right now, and I’ll meet you there in a half an hour”, said Dr. Reyes twice before. Twice before I asked: “Can I go home and pick up my bag?” And twice before the doctor said with a gentle smile: “No, just go right away!” Her face showed no panic either time, but my heart raced with worry, while my head was exploding with prayers: “Please God, let my baby be all right!”
“Do you think I’ll have to have C-section today?” I asked Dr. Gardener anxiously but also with a tremendous excitement. I was glad she was playing safe and taking very little risk.
“I don’t think so. I’ll see you next week!”
I couldn’t wait to get out of the elevator and get enough signal on my cell phone to call Matthew and tell him what’s happening.
“I am walking over to the hospital. The baby wasn’t reacting enough and they want to repeat the test. The doctor doesn’t think I’ll go today, but I wanted to give you heads up, just to be ready!” I said into the phone.
“OK. Call me when you know more.” Matthew said in his calm voice. He is a kind of a guy who never panics.
“How is Dante?” I asked. When I left for my appointment, he was running a fever and didn’t want to take medicine unless I gave it to him.
“He is miserable and wants you to give him his medicine.” Matthew confirmed.
“Tell him I’ll be home in a little while. “
I walked from the Medical Office building over to the hospital. I wore my white Mimi Maternity blouse and tan capris. I never took my hand off of my belly, feeling the little body of my baby. I had only my small black and turquoise purse (in which I carried a novel I was reading at the time – just some light reading) and my stainless steal water bottle. I felt good despite my worries.
“I just want my baby to be OK.” I said to the anesthesiologist as he prepared me for my first C-section. Dante had been in distress for a while. My doctor tried everything before she ran out of options.
“Welcome to the Motherhood!” he said “The worry starts now and it will not go away until the day he is off to college”
I thought of his words many times since then. He was right. As was my mother who had tried to tell me the same thing (with only one difference – the worry never goes away)
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Dante helps to assemble 
