For me, it happened in the middle of Miss Amanda's Music Garden class last Tuesday. Blais was enjoying playing sticks and singing a song with the rest of his toddler classmates, when all of a sudden I felt dizzy and my heart started racing. Miss Amanda had announced that we will still have the class next week (meaning today) even though it was Thanksgiving week...

Thanksgiving!? Surely she was just trying to be funny.

You would think that with two boys in school I would be better at keeping track of the calendar. It's not like I don't have a few Planners, computer Calendars, even an good old wall calendar right next to my desk...

Somehow I thought I still had a few (like three) weeks before Thanksgiving and our Advent Tour. I was still in my I-deserve-a-little-break-after-our-October-Tour mode.

Immediately I thanked God for my Mother-in-Law's invitation to spend Thanksgiving at her house, just like last year. To think that I tried to talk her into coming to our house instead, because I craved domestic things after being on the road... I was REALY glad she was persistent.

I took a big breath, paused my thoughts for a long moment and pulled out my To-Do list. I crossed out a bunch of things I really wanted to do (like getting some pottery for my parsley plants so I could bring them in for the winter) and got to work.

Now it's "next week". I got a lot done. And still there is much more to do. I've always struggled with knowing when to stop. I like work, I like challenge and I like to have things done well.

But I also like holidays. I like to party and have a good time with my family and friends. I like the tradition, significance and all the love that goes into preparing a Thanksgiving meal. I am going to enjoy my Mother-in-Law's dinner and my boys playing chess with their Grandfather (yes, even Blais likes to sit by the board and follow the game). I will miss my Dad. I will call my Mom to hear her voice. I will relax for a day and forget about all that's left on my list.

And then it's back on the road for us. But that's already another entry... For now, let's have a great Thanksgiving. Grateful, joyous and peaceful (you know the "inner" peacefull)!

Proslog utorka, Blais je radosno pjevao i svirao udaraljke zajedno sa klincima iz muzickog vrtica Miss Amande, dok je mene odjednom oblio hladan znoj i dobro mi se zavrtilo u glavi. Miss Amanda nas je obavjestila da ce se i slijedeceg tjedna sat odrzati iako je Dan Zahvalnosti tog cetvrtka.

Dan Zahvalnosti? Nemoguce. Sigurno se samo htjela nasaliti.

Svako bi pomislio da osoba s malom djecom , od kojih su dvoje u skoli (kao npr. ja), vodi racuna o datumima. Pogotovo sto sam se ja dobro opskrbila planerom, kalendarom na kompjuteru (koji je sinhroniziran s kalendarom na telefonu) i velikim zidnim kalendarom koji mi stoji iznad radnog stola.

Nekako sam jos uvijek bila sigurna da imam barem nekoliko tjedana (tri, od prilike) prije Dana Zahvalnosti i pocetka Bozicne turneje. Jos sam uvijek bila na zasluzenom-odmoru-nakon-jesenske-turneje.

Prvo sam u sebi rekla "hvala Bogu sto sam prihvatila poziv moje svekrve da proslavimo Dan Zahvalnosti kod nje." Pomislila sam koja ludost da sam je pokusavala odgovoriti od te ideje i nagovoriti je da ipak budemo kod nas, jer sam pozeljela isprobati par novih gourmet recepata - nakon svake turneje kad dodemo doma, kucne stvari, kao kuhanje, mi se cine jako privlacne, cak romanticne... Sad mi je bilo JAKO drago da je moja svekrva trvdoglavo ostala pri svome.

Duboko sam udahnula, na trenutak pokusala zaustaviti sve misli, a onda sam izvadila svoju listu obaveza. Odmah sam prekrizila par stvari koje sam zeljela napraviti (kao na primjer "kupiti teglu za persin" kojeg sam planirala presaditi kako bih ga sacuvala od zime) i dala se na posao.

Sad je taj "drugi tjedan". Dosta sam toga uspjela obaviti. Dosta mi je toga jos ostalo. Ja sam jedna od onih koji ne znaju kako stati. Volim raditi. Volim izazove i volim posao obaviti najbolje moguce.

Ali ja isto tako volim blagdane. Volim se zabavljati s mojim klincima, s mojim suprugom i prijateljima. I cijela tradicija, simbolika, trud i paznja koja je utkana u pripravljanje Purice i cijelog objeda, jako mi se svida. Bas cu uzivati u jelu moje svekrve, promatrajuci moje decke kako igraju sah s njihovim djedom (cak i mali Blais voli sjediti kraj njih i pratiti igru!). Mislit cu na svog tatu. Zvat cu mamu da joj cujem glas. I barem na jedan dan, opustit cu se i necu ni pomisliti na sve ono sto me ceka na mojoj listi obaveza...

A onda, opet na turneju. No to je vec druga tema. Za sad, uzivajmo u Danu Zahvalnosti. Polako, mirno, zahvalni za sve one male radosti koje cine zivot bogatim i lijepim.